Thank god for Tribal Football, then. Take, for instance, their "story" that David Trezeguet's 30-million pound "move to Highbury" is "gathering pace." This outright example of wrongness can be viewed here.

Supported conveniently by remarks from no-one in particular, we are encouraged to believe that Italy is reaching "fever pitch" with interest in this story. Cue shots of sweating men in double-breasted suits wading in fountains with their tongues lolling.

Arseweb respectfully suggests that Arsenal are hardly likely to splash 30 million quid on the third choice French striker when they've got Nos. 1 and 2 on the books. Plus, it would take all the pleasure out of beating Man Utd again this year if we hadn't spent just a quarter of their outlay on players.

Other tosh: Dennis apparently hates Wenger, according to the News of the Screws (yes, you know, for rescuing his career and for persevering with him for the first two thirds of last year until he found his form again). I can't be bothered to inflict this URL on you, find it yourself on NewsNow.

And, of course, Thierry Henry is off to Man Utd, says FansFC/From The Terrace. Not a real newspaper story, really, but a big enough whopper to rank right up there with actual printed nonsense. He must be desperate to make a fab four with Forlan, the diving Dutchman or that Norwegian paperboy, naturally. And who could pass up being a part of Old Trafford's legendary team spirit?

Henry's quote? There isn't one. But why not invent one? "It's been good at Arsenal. We've won the double. But I want real motivation -- the kind that only a crazed Irish psychotic stalking me like an arthritic baboon on angel dust can provide..."