Predictably, but reassuringly, he says it's all a fuss about very very little.

"If I ask what was going on in a disagreement in your family do you come and say it? No. You have to respect what is happening inside the team and keep it inside the team."

"I feel nothing major happened. It was a storm in a teacup. It is not the first incident after a game and I hope it is not the last."

"They are two good friends and their relationship is fantastic. I don't know why the police were involved. I think if we need police with that kind of problem we need the police more often!

"It was a minor, minor, minor, minor incident."

Wenger also stressed that the disagreement between the players was entirely of a professional rather than apersonal nature, and that he has no intention of disciplining anyone over the incident, because no-one did anything wrong. And he pointed out that, if anything, the fact that such a thing could happen reassures him that the players care.

Patrick Vieira has supported this line. "All these stories coming out in the media saying myself and Lauren had a fight are rubbish. Lauren is a good friend of mine and we have a good relationship. After matches, we always talk about the game between ourselves. We want to improve as a team and we give 100% commitment."

Of course, many people won't buy this. But many people will always be looking for ways to get under Arsenal's skin. Like I said earlier, it's very unlikely that it'll have the desired effect of unsettling the team. More likely, the exact opposite. How many of us can truly say that we've never had a relationship that's been stronger after a row...?