Let's be clear about this from the start: we are not making this one up.

Tottenham Hotspur, our opponents at the weekend, have signed none other than 42 year old Dave Beasant as their secret weapon for Saturday's big derby. If you need proof - he's got a player profile on their official site.

Regular backup keeper Kasey Keller is out injured, so Beasant has been signed on a 2-month loan deal. Beasant's previous owner, Portsmouth manager and Arsenal legend Graham Rix told Planet Football: 'With no disrespect to us, I'm sure he would rather sit on the bench in The Premiership with Spurs than with us.'

Beasant, meanwhile, told Sky Sports: 'It just came out of the blue. Tottenham wanted to bring in someone with experience and I've got bags of that.'

Perhaps this is what Spurs vice-chairman David Buchler means when he says: 'Spurs have moved on since Sol left. The club today is chalk-and-cheese different to where it was six months ago.'