Martin Keown has sensationally been offered the role of 'Face of English Embroidery' by the national Embroiderers Guild.

A piece in The Sun's 'UK Confidential' column on Monday morning, by journalist Marina Hyde, mocked the revelations in Sunday's Nick Hornby interview that Tony Adams recommended a particular West End play to Lee Dixon.

'UK Confidential is offering the following odds on the next unlikely Arsenal conversions... Martin Keown becomes the face of the English Embroidery Society: 10/1,' she wrote.

Which would have been fine, except that the wife of Arseweb reader Mark Parsons actually works for the London-based 'Embroiderers Guild'. Mark put it to his missus, who said that 'they'll have him if he can stitch. If not, the Arsenal can keep him!'

If it's not too late, Arseweb might be keen to take Ms Hyde up on her generous odds. We're tempted to put Ms Hyde's other offer to the test too: 'Patrick Vieira to take up ballet: 3/1'. It wouldn't be the first time a footballer used ballet techniques to help in their training.

FACT: Marina may use the name Hyde in her column, but her email address gives a DIFFERENT surname! We're probably outraged.