... for Manchester United.

PSV have confirmed that a deal has been done, and that Ruud Van Nistelrooy - a man who, incidentally, regularly sleeps with Jaap Stam - is to play for ManU next season. They're not prepared to quote a transfer fee (for now - don't ManU have to tell the Stock Exchange?) but us media types are putting it in the range of £18-20m, easily a British record.

So why didn't Arsenal push the boat out to grab him? Well, if reports in the Sun and elsewhere are to be believed, he's on £2.5m a year in wages - which sounds to us like 48 grand a week: double the apparent limit of the legendary 'Highbury wage structure'.

Guess we'll have to look elsewhere for a decent transfer rumour now... Luis Figo swap for Marc Overmars, anyone??