C4 got the tip-off from actor and Arsenal fan Nick Moran, when they interviewed him about "Lock Stock etc" (which they're finally giving its terrestrial premiere this month).

It appears that Nick has just finished shooting a film, which he also co-wrote, about sperm smuggling in Bognor. So why are we telling you about it?

Well, as well as featuring Nick and fellow Arsenal fan Dave Courtney, the film gives acting debuts to David Seaman and Ray Parlour. They play "Huge Gangster" and "Vince" respectively. No news yet on the release date. Are Ray and Dave about to follow Vinnie Jones and Eric Cantona into international celluloid megastardom?

To be honest, I thought Caroline was pulling my leg until I saw the Internet Movie Database page for the film. But while they clearly know who Seaman is, it seems that Parlour's footballing fame hasn't reached the IMDB people yet.

See our Arsenal at the movies page for other Arsenal mentions and appearances in films and TV shows.

note to Nick: an invite to the premiere will guarantee an ArseWeb review